"If you don't tell, no one will ever imagine".
"You look better now, you were so skinny before"
"Now, people can respect you unlike before"
However, I'm not amused by all that talk. All my clothes are tight and one way or the other I must fit in them all. I am not ready to change my wardrobe and who's even going to pay for it? I love my current wardrobe, everyone tells me I have good fashion taste and besides I haven't even worn some of those clothes enough.
You may be wondering why I am saying this. In reality, I'm not fat. I used to sway between a UK size 4 and size 6. I never once saw my self as skinny and I absolutely loved myself. Now I am a swinging between UK size 6 and size 8. You may laugh at this, of course! Now that I am writing this down, it's beginning to sound ridiculous even to my on ears.
Most of my clothes still get through but they are just too tight and I am determined to fit in them. To be honest, I moved from 53Kg on a 1.61m frame to 58Kg. Ok, I just wish to lose 5Kg right? Just 5kg. it isn't even that much so why I'm I so stressed about it.
Mainly because I hate the word 'fat'. Technically, I'm far from being called fat but unlike the friends above who have mentioned that I look better than ever, there are a few who just blurt out
"My, you've grown fat!"
" Hmmm, you are putting on weight oh"
"Aseh, you are no longer the smallest again oh"
These comments really get to me. And so one week ago I bought a scale and took my weight. I almost screamed at the horror I saw. But I tried not to get depressed over it. I've set my first goal. In a month I should weigh 55kg at most and I am working actively on that.
First I downloaded some home workout videos from Youtube. And every morning, I spend about 30 minutes sweating out because I got the difficult exercises. I am also working on my tummy too, cos it got bigger.I jog outdoors every two days from 5:30 am to 6:15 am every morning before preparing for work. I have done some research on the kinds of exercises that accelerate the fat burning process.
I've also cut down on my meals. Basically, I've taken to dividing one meal into three and eating it thrice a day. In my line of work, I can't really get time to eat 5 small meals a day. So far my mum is wondering what I'm up to. But I've told her the days when men admire fat women are over and these days the slimmer the better. Besides being slim has health advantages. But I didn't mention the body mass index part of the equation. My mum is not fat, I just get scared sometimes thing that I would resemble my dad's part of the family.
I've been on the exercise for one week, I'll only measure my weight in a weeks time. I'm not feeling any different physically. I actually feel like I've put on more weight. Am I being paranoid?
I'm planning on starting on warm water and lemon every morning. Just haven't got the time to buy the lemon but I'll probably get lime instead.
So despite my aching tendon this morning, I still got up and put the workout video on. I'm that motivated.
I know a lot of people who are trying to lose weight. I have personally told a few people that "the earlier they hit the gym the better for them" because they were growing out of proportions. Now it's my turn. we'll all get there one day. I strongly believe in positive thinking.
And there is this funny thing they say about losing weight - lose all the weight you want but your head will stay the same.Lol
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