Worrying about security

I like writing but I'm lazy. Yes, I am because when I have a little time on my hands I'll spend it watching re-runs of the The Big Bang Theory or Awkward. on MTV or maybe catching up with my favourite telenovelas when I get home from work.

And suddenly, I'd realise three months have gone by and I've posted nothing on the blog. Then comes the mixed feeling about keeping this blog because let's face it, how boring is it? I've decided to just let it be. After all, it's free and google is not complaining, so why should I?

But that's not even the point here, is it? Who am I apologising to when there's no page view ever? I should just get on with what I want to say here. 

I live in fear. I fear I may not live to be 80 and consequently, I may not see my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I won't know what this world will be like in 2050 because you see, I may not be alive. You may say everyone will die someday, some old, some young and if there's any certainty in life, it's that we are all going to die. So why fear? I'll tell you why.

Two weeks ago, when I stepped out of my house at dusk, to have a little fresh air while strolling in my neighbourhood, I almost had a heart attack. As soon as I was out of the gate, I was faced with a woman (I should think) wearing a black niqab. My heart almost stopped beating and I felt like the world had immediately come to an end. Saying I was scared would  be an understatement. In the second I saw this individual, I had all kinds of horrid images flood my mind. Images about explosives and explosions, dead bodies (of which I'll be one) and pandemonium.

I was literally holding my breath and breaking a sweat just within seconds. I almost collapsed but held strong. I was going to broke into a run but I found my legs dragging me slowly towards her. I wanted to look at her face, but I was scared of what I'll see and I shifted my glance to the road ahead of me. As we walked towards each other, it was as if I was in a fix. It seemed I had resigned myself to expect some sought of earthquake. I tried to scan her body to verify if she could be hiding something over all the clothing she was wearing. I wondered if she'll warn me that she had something up her sleeve. When she passed me and nothing which I had dreaded happened, I started feeling a little relief.

It suffices to say I was shaken. Yes, I was. OMG!! Is this how my life will now be? Why, dear God, why? I live in Douala where despite our distance from the Far North Region of Cameroon, we're are always alert because we never know where the terrorists may strike. And now, I'm afraid. One encounter with a niqab-wearing woman was enough to rattle me in a way I never thought possible. I think about my friends, my family and I wonder how we'll make it in this country filled with unrest. It's true we want to live our lives like there's no war but let's face it, Cameroon is at war and we're all afraid.

What can we expect from this country? We want to go about our daily lives living like nothing is happening. We can only do that for a while until we come face to face with a situation that makes us question our entire existence. I hope other people who come across persons who wear niqabs do not feel like I do because it could lead to innocent people being mobbed.

While I am for 'live and let live', I think when it comes to matters of national security and public interest, we should do what benefits the larger part of a population. Yes, muslims have their cultures and traditions, but just for the sake of peace, shouldn't our governments consider banning the use of the niqab at least until the war against the terrorists is over? France banned it some years back and imposed fines on women who still wear it - I don't know if that has helped. But we just can't fold our hands and keep quiet. We know all the suicide bombers in Maroua and surrounding villages hide bombs in the so-called niqabs to facilitate their displacement. A ban in the niqab would go a long way to reduce these bombings. 

I hope I never experience that fear again. I don't think any normal person wants to imagine themselves been blown into tiny bits for whatever reason. I pray everyday, even more now, for my descendants and for myself. Nothing beats peace and happiness. These are the things I'm trying to achieve.