I'd traveled for work. I was in a foreign, hostile country. I'd have preferred to not be there. I was not looking for love or anything remotely close to a relationship. Heck, how could I? I was 5 months pregnant and very lonely. But I was focused - all I wanted was to have my baby in my arms. My ex-boyfriend, who was my baby daddy, had gotten married 3 months earlier and it had been a tough period for me.
When our paths first crossed, I didn't notice anything. I'm not even sure I'd noticed him as I walked along the long corridors those first days. I had other things on my mind - like trying to not breakdown in tears while I was working and struggling to not give the impression that all was not well in my personal life. In other words, I had bigger fish to fry. I never imagined anything else. I was struggling to live in the present as I didn't want to be reminded of my painful past or my uncertain future.
The first time I heard him speak, I was in awe. I was dumbfounded. I thought I saw a halo on him, I swear. He was an angel and I was rendered speechless by this unexpected intelligent person who stood in front of me like he was an apparition. I felt a connection so deep I couldn't breath. Was I going to faint? I could have fainted and blamed it on the pregnancy but I did not want to alarm anyone or embarrass myself. And then it struck me - he was not a local. He was the classic man - tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, nice and simple.
He was not involved in our project but his knowledge of what we were doing earned my respect. He was an expert and in no time, it was only him who could answer our questions. He spoke in a soft, self-confident manner. He carried himself without pride. One would never imagine who he was if he didn't tell. And so I looked forward to seeing him everyday, picking his brain and teasing him. No, I didn't flirt with him. I know that would have been your next question and you may roll your eyes, for which I forgive you. But I'm telling you the truth.
Was it my hormones? Why was I feeling weird all of a sudden? It couldn't be love. I had too much on my mind to even consider that. My life was too messed up for me to be in love. I resolved that I like intelligent people and I was probably feeling vulnerable because of my situation.
Two weeks passed fast and then I went to work that day and he was nowhere to be found I didn't want to ask for fear of sounding too interested. I still had not seen him by lunch time. By mid-afternoon, I could no longer hold my peace and asked codedly where he was. And that's when everything came crashing. He had left. Without saying goodbye!
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment