I do not write so often on this blog because, well, I'm always super busy with work. Now, I'm also a student. Yep! I am a masters student with PSU. I decided to take my education back into my hands and return to school, make a difference and maybe re-orientate my career. 10 years in one company is a long time and I know there is so much out there I need to see and do.
However, the most important thing so far in my life is my son. Yeah, I know, I've never mentioned him or made any allusion to his existence especially since I'm always writing about being single and all. My cute little boy just turned four two weeks ago. It's not easy being mum and dad to this energetic and sharp young man but I'm really grateful to my family. My mother's support has been overwhelming and my junior brother has matured overnight because he has had to be the babysitter most of the times I'm working late or have to travel. I also have a help, who comes in daily, and an array of cousins, aunties and uncles, who may not be physically present but whose regular phone calls to encourage me make all the difference.
I won't lie that being a single mother is easy. I'm financially buoyant and I can afford to give my son proper health care, education, shelter and everything money can buy. He has all the love and affection a child may need and I'm really happy with how he is developing and meeting his milestones. So, if it's tough for me, how about my Aunt Doreen who has 7 kids, is unmarried and unemployed?
I have a couple of female colleagues in their late twenties who have been flirting with the idea of becoming single mothers. My advice has always been "it's not as easy as it seems and I won't advise you to do so". I may sound like a hypocrite, right? However, what most people see is your well dressed, clean and beautiful child running around causing havoc during a friend's birthday party. No one sees the sleepless nights when he is sick, the guilt you feel when you spend long hours at work or on business travels, the planning that goes behind the scene when the help is not coming and you have to go to work, the frustration you feel when he's father refuses to man-up and take responsibility, even if it's just to call his son monthly, the judgmental stares from people who see you without a ring and deem that you are promiscuous, the pity from people who feel your life is over and you'll never find a worthy man so you might as well just settle with anyone and stop being choosy. The list is endless.
I love my son with everything I have and would not trade my baby for anything else.Yet, I will not advise anyone to take this path. I had him when I was 27, so yeah, I'm in a good place to give advice. But if you are seriously thinking of becoming a single mother ensure that you have the financial capabilities and a strong support system from your family. And how involved will the child's father be in his life? I've always wanted my son's father to be involved in the former's upbringing, if only wishes were horses.
To be honest, despite the challenges, when your child wraps his/her arms around you and says 'I love you", you know you have found true love and your life is complete.
I do not know any single fathers. It really will be interesting to have their perspective.
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